Today's Jokes and News

ENTERTAINMENT

Walton Goggins pokes fun at "White Lotus" fan theories in a new SNL promo, jokingly predicting cast member deaths in the comedy show. He hosts SNL this weekend alongside musical guest Arcade Fire, making his hosting debut on the show.

Kelsey Grammer reveals his marriage mantra with wife Kayte Walsh involves a Whitney Houston song: "Love is a contact sport." The couple has been married for 14 years and shares three children.

Luke Grimes celebrates returning as Kayce Dutton in the new "Yellowstone" spinoff "Y: Marshals" with an Instagram post saying "Cowboys don't say goodbye, they say see you later." The series premieres midseason next year with Grimes reprising his role.

JOKES

Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"

What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone.

Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.

SPORTS

Emmanuel Clase and other top MLB closers are struggling early in the 2025 season, with Clase allowing 23 hits and 10 runs in April compared to just 10 runs all last season. Devin Williams, Ryan Pressly, and Raisel Iglesias are also experiencing difficulties with location and command.

Ashton Jeanty is predicted by NFL experts to be the Offensive Rookie of the Year, with most agreeing the Raiders' sixth-round pick will have immediate impact in 2025. Travis Hunter's unique two-way abilities and Matthew Golden's ideal situation with the Packers are also generating buzz.

Nikola Jokic had one of his worst offensive games with 20 points on 8-of-25 shooting, but the Nuggets still defeated the Thunder 113-104 in overtime for a 2-1 series lead. Aaron Gordon, Jamal Murray, and Michael Porter Jr. stepped up to compensate for Jokic's struggles.

Boston Celtics face a potential $500 million payroll next season if they keep their championship roster together, creating massive financial pressure as they trail the Knicks 2-0 in their conference semifinal series. An early playoff exit could force the team to make significant roster changes.

TODAY’S TRIVIA
Do you Know?

Q:  How many brains does an Octopus have?

Answer Below

SPORTS

Emmanuel Clase and other top MLB closers are struggling early in the 2025 season, with Clase allowing 23 hits and 10 runs in April compared to just 10 runs all last season. Devin Williams, Ryan Pressly, and Raisel Iglesias are also experiencing difficulties with location and command.

Ashton Jeanty is predicted by NFL experts to be the Offensive Rookie of the Year, with most agreeing the Raiders' sixth-round pick will have immediate impact in 2025. Travis Hunter's unique two-way abilities and Matthew Golden's ideal situation with the Packers are also generating buzz.

Nikola Jokic had one of his worst offensive games with 20 points on 8-of-25 shooting, but the Nuggets still defeated the Thunder 113-104 in overtime for a 2-1 series lead. Aaron Gordon, Jamal Murray, and Michael Porter Jr. stepped up to compensate for Jokic's struggles.

Boston Celtics face a potential $500 million payroll next season if they keep their championship roster together, creating massive financial pressure as they trail the Knicks 2-0 in their conference semifinal series. An early playoff exit could force the team to make significant roster changes.

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TECHNOLOGY

OpenAI rolled back its GPT-4o update after users complained ChatGPT became "annoying" and "sycophantic," praising users for absurd statements. The chatbot exhibited overly supportive but disingenuous behavior, prompting the company to revert to a more balanced version.

GOP lawmakers propose App Store Accountability Act requiring platforms like Apple and Google to verify all users' ages and share that information with app developers. The legislation aims to protect minors online but faces privacy concerns and resistance from tech companies.

Skype shut down permanently on May 5, pushing users toward Microsoft Teams or alternative VoIP services. Users can transfer their Skype numbers to providers like Google Voice, Viber, or various VoIP services, though some international calling features may be lost..

TODAY’S TRIVIA
Do you Know?

Q:  How many brains does an Octopus have? 9